Tuesday, February 22, 2011

It's not so sexy when it's real

It looks so sexy, right, when cute little Avril sings about having been good all her life?  But What The Hell, it's time for a little rabble rousing including theft, destruction of private property, attempted shoplifting, and basically being a gigantic bitch to her boyfriend.  Girl Power!  Girls rock!  Don't let 'em keep you down, Avril!  You go!

So millions of young impressionable girls absorb that message, and you get this in real life:

She drives in a snowstorm, gets caught in a massive 50-60 vehicle pileup, and a tow truck pulls her out.  But the bill - $225 - is more than she wants to pay, so she goes on a rampage at the towing company, assaults an employee, and does about $10,000 worth of damage to the office.  In front of her boyfriend and son.  I watched the raw footage yesterday, and the saddest thing about it was her child crying and begging her to stop.

In the discussion on M-Live yesterday, many people objected to the cost of the tow.  I found this comment very enlightening:
Liberals demand a high level of regulation and control:

- US DOT compliance and number

- Michigan Public Service Commission authority and door tag

- drug testing for any CDL drivers - commercial license plates

- marking requirements

- license and liability insurance

- OHSA, EPA and Workmen's Comp regulations

-record-keeping up the wazoo

to name a few. This is before any ordinary and normal business expenses like rent, wages and taxes and more taxes on top of the taxes.

A service business like towing is high risk (drivers are hurt or killed everyday) and low profit or no profit.

All you armchair business geniuses, however, can see big profit margins (mostly non-existent), so by all means please run out and buy yourself a new tow truck and start making that big money.

At the end of the day, when your stuck with a smashed car, an unpaid bill and a trashed office, and had your business flamed in M-Live by all the local Harvard MBAs, was it really worth it?

It is very expensive to run a small business, and not that many people are willing to go out in a blizzard and risk both life and property to tow out people like this woman.  From the video, it doesn't look like the owner is operating in the lap of luxury.

This woman will now be arrested and charged with several felonies.  As she should.  I hope they throw the book at her.  Assault is assault, no excuses, and no passes because she's female.  She could have really hurt that man, and the wrecker is unlikely to get a dime out of her and will have to muddle on and replace his own equipment. His insurance premium will probably go up.

Again, the sad thing here is the situation of the child.  I can't comment on her mothering skills, except to say that no mature adult would do what she did and certainly never in front of her child, but it seems unlikely that his father is an active parent and upstanding citizen.  He may be one of millions of fathers shafted by family court and denied access to his kid, but it's more likely she chose a thug to have a baby with.  Which means the boy will probably go to a relative or to state custody.  All of which is made possible by a society that tolerates illegitimacy and gives financial incentives to women who can't afford to have children but do anyway.

I've been following the discussion between The Thinking Housewife and The Spearhead, which more or less boils down to whether men should be encouraged or coerced to marry or otherwise support women when marrying or supporting women is 1) contrary to his own best interests and 2) could lead - via family court income extraction - to servitude and/or lifetime penury.  While I am a strong believer in marriage as a building block of civilization, my view is that men should not be encouraged or coerced to marry for several reasons:

1) The short term good marriage offers for women and children can easily be undone by women at any time if she decides she wants out.  And, yes, for the people who will sputter at me, men can walk too.  But we are not trying to shame or coerce women into marriage here. We know subconsciously that marriage is a very good deal for women; we've just been trying to repress it because it seems "sexist."  Coercing men to contract themselves to women and then allowing women to break that contract at will makes no sense.

2) The short term isn't even the point.  Those conservatives who want the traditional family back want it back long term.  Bailing water by the bucketful into a breaking dam is a futile action.  Laughable, really.

3) Allowing the marriage market to readjust via supply and demand is much more effective.  If you bring something to market highly overpriced, no one will buy it and you will go home none the richer.  You can either lower your price or keep your goods.  Wives are currently overpriced not because intrinsically they are better or worse than they ever were but because the market itself has been distorted by government intrusion - family courts, no fault divorce, affirmative action - and because the goods themselves have been damaged  by the stuff we women have been telling ourselves for decades and the lives we've been leading in response.  You can monkey with the system a little longer or try and shame or coerce the buyer into taking something he doesn't want, but that's just kicking the can.  The market always corrects itself.  Kicking the can will just result in a little more violent correcting.  People know when they are getting a bad deal and they resent it and work against it.  They will undermine you, run away, revolt, and eventually, given nothing more to lose, set fire to everything.  It's the way people work.  It's the way people have always worked.  Property owners during the Depression bulldozed their own buildings rather than pay exorbitant property taxes the could not afford because they couldn't get rent from their tenants.  They bulldozed their own buildings.

4) As women we need to absorb these hard truths and hope for a swifter correction to this market.  Because:

  • We don't want that violent correction.  Widespread violence is beyond the ability of women to control.
  • We have it harder when we allow this.  Women who act badly work against the interests of other women.  They create problems other women - grandmothers, social workers, teachers, second wives - have to mop up.  They make us all look bad too, especially when we say nothing about the grievous wrongs they do to their men and children. 
  • We see the unhappiness and dysfunctional lives of countless women around us.  Does anyone think either of the women in the above two videos are happy?  And the Lori Gottliebs of the world who spent their youth getting overeducated, proud, and sleeping with men who cared nothing for them - are they happy?  The Sex and the City women - with their fancy, create-nothing jobs and no children - are they happy?  One of the women I once worked with spent her twenties and thirties with a number of completely unsuitable men.  She is now writing online letters to her future husband, the man she knows will come to her.  She had some fun in her day, yes, but she seems profoundly miserable now.  Letting women do as they will, with no restrictions, when they are young has not lead to widespread societal happiness and prosperity.  Even as a fantasy, it's kind of depressing.  How 'bout we chuck it?
  • We allow the souls of these women to be imperiled.  The argument I'm referencing has a certain religious component to it.  We need to remember that when we allow people to behave badly without consequences, we create tyrants and bullies who only get worse.  Not only are they unhappy and a danger to others but spiritually they are degraded.  How can we as Christians advise others to avoid the near occasion of sin when we are in fact constantly sustaining and shoring up a society-wide sinfulness?  
  • Finally and very importantly, we should care about the suffering of our men.  They are our fathers, brothers, sons, nephews, friends, and coworkers.  They are a part of us.  When they hurt, we should hurt and we should want to stop the injustice they face.  


  1. How many thousands of dollars would have been saved if, after the third or fourth thing she threw at that guy, he (or her boyfriend) had physically knocked some sense into her?

    I really, really hate seeing things like that video, because the only conclusion I can reach is that the world would be a better place if men could throw a punch here and there. I really, really want that conclusion to be wrong.

    And let's face it, if any guy there had reacted physically, he would be charged with assault, not given a self-defense exemption, even with video evidence.

  2. Very interesting juxtaposition of videos and commentary.

    Remember this poem from taunting elementary school playgrounds?
    Jack and Jill,
    Sitting in a tree
    First comes love,
    Then comes marriage
    Then comes a baby in a baby carriage.

    As we've known for centuries, keeping things in that order would solve innumerable difficulties. Birth Control does not change this proper order.

    Also, as I mention in You're the Man! Don't Whine., complaining about the opposite sex and blaming our problems on them will get us nowhere.

    Men and women both need plenty of caution, time, and real relationship building before actually making the marriage commitment. It really is a big commitment that should be celebrated.

  3. This post reminded me of an idea I'd been thinking of, so I'm going to write a long synopsis because class is over and it seems like fun.

    This corner of the internet is primarily caucasian. Many of the concerns, therefore, apply predominantly to white communities and concern white people for the most part. That's not a bad thing.

    In fact, I find it extremely useful. This corner of the internet gives a lot of forewarning for the bad things that could befall society should the negative trends discussed(hypergamy, illegitimacy, etc) continue unabated.

    You shouldn't even have to substantiate many of these concerns-you already have a model demonstrating their consequences.
    Just take a look at Black America, everyone. Nearly every major negative occurrence warned about on sites like these has run rampant there already.

  4. (continued from above)

    Here, look at these examples:

    -Illegitimacy and rampant out of wedlock births? Look at black america. 70% illegitimacy rate and climbing. The nightmare scenarios being predicted in much of the manosphere regarding out of wedlock births have already been played out there.

    -Concerned about the spread unchecked hypergamy(read: desire for the alpha male and nothing less) is having on the dating market? Wanna see where that's going?
    Once again, black america. There may be no female more hypergamous than the average black american girl(and, ironically, there is no female with a lower rate of marriage). The culture places a tremendous emphasis for men on the possession of traits matching those of urban masculine culture(read: swagger, aggression, hard-edged, etc). In no culture are stereotypical "nice guys"(academically inclined, "chivalrous", etc) more marginalized and insulted than they are in Black American culture.
    You think the sexual market value of the average white/asian nerdy kid is low? Try being a black one and having your entire culture tell you your intellect makes you an insult to the culture/race.

    Think about it: there is no culture in this country more generally hostile to education/academia and more welcoming of general "bad boy" behaviours and figures. Only in Black America can a man with the character of Lil Wayne, 50 Cent, or Ray Lewis be considered a primary role model for youth. Bad-boy love and the hypergamy that comes with it has ruled the black community for a couple of generations now. That nightmare is reality.

    -Want to know what will happen when illegitimate children raised in fatherless households become the norm? Once again, I offer you black America and the exorbitant rates of crime and other social ills that come with it.

    -What happens when men are marginalized and households become largely matriarchal? Men will have high unemployment and incarceration rates, and young boys will be prone to violence and poor academic performance. 75% of college and advanced degrees will be earned by females. A culture hostile to academia will arise, alpha male posturing(see modern rap) will become the norm to compensate for lack of other pursuits and the next generation will live a cycle of generally dysfunctional sexual behavior(more sluts and more cads at earlier ages) and illegitimacy.

    In other words, you end up like Black Americans.

    -Loud, outspoken women with no consequences? Which race of women carries a reputation for being easily angered, argumentative, and at times downright loud and aggressive?
    That reputation didn't come unearned. I saw it in high school, elementary school, at after school programs, etc.
    White and Asian women rarely blow up in public like that(unless you're watching bridezilla or Jersey Shore), so this is shocking behavior to them. Talk to any black male with some familiarity with average urban communities and he'll tell you how normal this type of behavior is.

    Grerp wants to know what happens when this type of "in your face" behavior becomes tolerable and acceptable for women? Black America will tell you.

    Bottomline: If you want to get an idea of what will happen when the most negative trends in your society accelerate and become the norm, look at black America, folks-its your crystal ball.

    *Disclaimer: I am black, no accusations of white nationalism here please.*

  5. @Athlone McGinnis:

    I too am black, and could have written this comment word for word. I try (desperately) to encourage women of every ethnicity to be the women and wives God meant us to be lest our country turn into the town I grew up in.

    And I am often shouted down by good "Christian" women who think I'm promoting female subjugation.


    Great comment.

  6. I wonder if laughing at that second video means I'm going to hell? I'm sorry, but that was totally over the top. It costs money to have a car towed. Either pay for something like Triple-A, which covers the costs of towing, or pay the towing company themselves, or don't have your car towed. It's not that complicated.

    I hope those poor people are insured. I know times are tough, and you may not be able to pay it all at once, but from looking at those guys on that video they seemed like down-to-earth guys who might have been able to work out some kind of deal with that woman if she had asked perhaps.

    I hope the cops hunt her down, and put her behind bars.

    I also feel sorry for her kid, that kid sounded terrified with his mother acting in such a childish way. At least now CPS can step in and remove that child from that environment, and put that poor child with a family who'll love and care for him

    --A nameless guy who is trying really hard to win "Most Boring and Average Guy in the World" Award.

  7. Grerp, this is a beautiful post. You have such good sense and good advice. You're the best!!!

  8. "complaining about the opposite sex and blaming our problems on them will get us nowhere. "

    Umm yeah, but you have to blame their problems on them.

    'Men and women both need plenty of caution, time, and real relationship building before actually making the marriage commitment."

    Familiarity also breeds contempt.

  9. Athlone puts out an eloquent discussion regarding what has happened/is happening in black America. I just want to add that this is not necessarily about race: if you go to the UK, you will find the same issues in the white underclass there. Single moms sustained by the state, intellectual men degraded, thugs getting the women, etc. All of the same stuff found in black America can be found there too. So it's important to step away from the race aspect of it and look at the sociological and financial influences.

  10. Marriage is a bad deal for both men and women. Because let's not forget that in most countries working women have to support their ex-husbands, too, so the support trap cuts both ways.

    Speak for yourself, but I am highly educated (I despise a term like overeducated, because one can never have too much education), pretty well of, unmarried and childless (and don't want either in my life) and very happy.

  11. @ Anonymous 4:09PM(Feb. 22, 2011):

    "All of the same stuff found in black America can be found there too. So it's important to step away from the race aspect of it and look at the sociological and financial influences."

    Athlone: It is important to remember that black Americans, the population I'm addressing here, are a very small portion of the total black population. There are about 40 million of them in the US today. Latin America(that's all of non-english speaking central and southern america) alone nearly quadruples that number(approx. 150 million), and that's before even getting to Africa or the British Caribbean.

    So yes, it is a distinctly cultural thing, not necessarily a racial one. The issues I mentioned above are meant to apply to just a sliver of the world's black populace, and I posit that they're not primarily biological in origin.

    That being said, I agree when you say it is true that there are other groups with similar problems. You can say that there are plenty of whites in the US with the same issue.

    The main point, however, is the sheer magnitude and concentration of said problems within this particular population(Black America). Its severity is what makes it so unusual and worthy of watching, especially when we're talking about potential dangers other groups can face down the road.

    Modern black america, with all of its faults and turmoil, is going to be the end game for other groups(including white americans, potentially) if a lot of the negative trends we discuss here continue.

  12. Tiffany Neelus, the woman who trashed Weeks Towing, is black. She won't get ANY jail time at all...

  13. Update on Tiffany Nealous, the woman who trashed the towing office: http://www.mlive.com/news/grand-rapids/index.ssf/2011/02/grand_rapids_woman_taken_into.html

  14. Athlone - Very interesting comment. I agree that we've seen all this unfold in the black community and exactly how much power and comfort unfettered hypergamy and promiscuity results in for women.

    I've always thought there were some real parallels between the American black community and the Russian one. Because of the catastrophic events in Russia during the 20th century, the intact two-parent family was uncommon for much of it. Then when the man murdering and enslavement finally settled down, the state was so oppressive to individuality and punished initiative so hard that men essentially turned to alcohol to survive. The end result has been very high infidelity, divorce, abortion, prostitution, drug abuse, and child abandonment rates and a marriage rate that is dropping through the floor. Russian women fled for other countries in droves. Thugs grabbed anything of value and set up a new kind of financial and political tyranny. When I lived there I thought the men were pretty scary. They didn't have anything left to lose.

    A society has to reward, and reward well, men's ingenuity, hard work, and drive for that society to flourish. And it has to make the man central to the family, absolutely necessary and recognized as so. We do not lack for examples what happens when we do the opposite. We just keep closing our eyes and saying, "Na na na. Can't hear you." Because we don't want to believe the truth.

  15. Women have a great facility for shaming, for ostracizing, for using social control over others. Within the memory of some older Americans, those facilities were used to keep women from being as incredibly stupid as Tiffany Nealous, i.e. more stupid than a box of rocks.

    She surely did not get so entitled, obnoxious and violent overnight. That is the result of a long term project.

    One could say that she, or someone like her, was a predictable result of Federal policies put in place long ago, in the 1960's, and briefly illuminated by Daniel Patrick Monyhan around 1971 or so. Athione is alarmingly persuasive in analysis.

  16. Couple of things:

    1) You're wrong Marky Mark. The fact of the matter is that she will get jail time, and if she's cut any slack it'll be because she's a single mother, not because she's black. Being black actually works against her chances of getting off. Have you read the prison stats? But all of that is neither here nor there.

    2) I want to second Athlone's point again, lol. What has become common in the black community is indeed cultural and not racial at all. It is the perfect storm of liberalism, feminism, politically power hungry race hustlers, and far too many people willing to take the path of least resistance.

    I know far too many upstanding solid Christian families to ever believe the HBD crowd's adamant and shrill assertions that the pathologies strangling the black community are in any way biological. The fact that we are seeing increasing percentages of this kind of behavior and its fallout across all ethnic and racial lines is proof of that.

    By the way, Grerp, I forgot to mention that this is a good post.

  17. To understand what happened to Black America, read the 1965 Moynihan Report here;


    To read why it was ignored (at the nation’s peril) go here;


  18. Excellent post and comments.

    Especially this:

    "Women who act badly work against the interests of other women. They create problems other women - grandmothers, social workers, teachers, second wives - have to mop up. They make us all look bad too, especially when we say nothing about the grievous wrongs they do to their men and children."


  19. @Aum:

    "To understand what happened to Black America, read the 1965 Moynihan Report here;


    To read why it was ignored (at the nation’s peril) go here;

    http://www.city-journal.org/html/15_3_black_family.html "

    Athlone: Correct.

    Ironically enough, the second link leads to an article by none other than Ms. Kay Hymowitz(of "Where have all the Good Men Gone" fame) herself.
    I actually think she does a pretty good job with this article to.

  20. "Never hit a woman" is the reason she kept going like that.

    In a different time, a "real man" would have tackled her fool a** to the floor and pinned her til the cops arrived.

    Race has nothing to do with it.

    Entitled grrrl power has everything to do with it.

    She is a waste of skin, space, and air. Human garbage.

  21. Athlone,Terry--

    You are really on to something in characterizing the "attitude" as cultural, rather than racial. Of the black women I've known, all but one with chips on their shoulders were American born. On the other hand, there were three (one from Guyana, one from Trinidad, and one from Kenya) that were absolutely a joy to work with and know. I hope all of them got what they wanted in life--whether that be husband and kids or career success.


  22. It is very expensive to run a small business, and not that many people are willing to go out in a blizzard and risk both life and property to tow out people like this woman. From the video, it doesn't look like the owner is operating in the lap of luxury.

    Perhaps you live in a another country?

    I have dealt with a tow company. The smooth $50 per day for a parking space. The elegant agreements with U-Haul to "stay out of their action" by U-Haul refusing to rent the trailers you can drive your cars on for "in city" hauling.

    The generous gifts of "We tow non-customer" signs to stores so they to can get in on the gank-fest.

    I'm quite sure her car was drivable and "officer friendly" made a call. After all, he makes enough money so that 225 dollars isn't that much. And he isn't paying it anyway.

    Though most tow-extortion stunts resulting in attacks are far more extreme. We hear about this woman because most of these attack stories have Mr. Tow-Man in fully erect thieving, lying animal mode.

    And even Americans have their limits on the ability to worship on bended knee the powerful.

    You know what happened when I posted that the Koch brothers had bought all the state power generators in Wisconsin through their paid whore Governor Walker?

    All the raving animals swinging from the trees on the anti-union comment thread shut up. Last post of the thread. No apologies. No "We are sorry for being the lunatic whores that we are". Just sullen silence.

    Yeah. I got it.

    Like third-degree burns from "hot coffee", I got it.

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