Showing posts with label Bad Role-Modeling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bad Role-Modeling. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Piece of Advice #115: Teach your girls not to rape

Originally, I was going to talk about hitting and physical violence among women since new evidence has shown that frequently, in roughly 40% of cases, men are the target of domestic violence. We are so programmed by our duplicitous media to regard women as victims, that younger generations cannot imagine such a high rate of abuse victims are men - except for young people who grew up in the households of abusive women. They can imagine all too well.

I've known a number of men personally who were perhaps not physically beaten by their wives or partners, but were subjected to endless psychological abuse, crazy, jealous, or controlling behavior. At least three of these men's wives took a blowtorch to their lives, and they barely survived. They were normal men whose lives were ruined when vicious women used the system against them for fun and profit.

Teach your girls not to be like that.

Start with the idea that they need to keep their hands them themselves. That just because they're cute and small, they don't get a free pass on hitting. It's not okay to hit a boy just because he's bigger or male. Then move up to the idea that "Want, take, have" is a philosophy suited to psychopaths not women, and certainly not ladies.

It's distressing to read all of the recent stories about adult women who have taken sexual advantage of the boys entrusted to them socially or professionally, like local teacher Jamila Williams who sexually molested two of her students. This is not an isolated incident. Women pedophiles are becoming more common. I'll forgive you if you haven't read more of the hundreds of these cases (h/t SOBL1). The media doesn't seem to think they are as interesting as priest pedophile cases. We are still getting thorough coverage of archived Catholic scandals in the national press, although female pedophile cases are much more of a trend now. Where there is little oversight, predators will roam, and schools apparently are great hunting grounds these days.

Some may say boys who are sexually molested by women must consent or sex cannot occur, but the fact remains that these boys are still minors. Their brains have not fully formed, and they cannot conceptualize the legal responsibilities they will have for their predators' children should these women become pregnant or what life with herpes (or antibiotic-resistant Gonorrhea) will be like. We shelter them from the responsibilities of voting and drinking because our society thinks they are unready. If it's wrong for a 30-year-old man to have consensual sex with a 15-year-old girl because one is adult and has adult understanding and the other is a child with inadequate experience, it's wrong for women to have sex with boys as well. Personally, I don't think we have the punishments right for these "consensual" sex cases, but I do agree that this isn't trivial stuff. I'm not raising my son to believe sex is like a handshake and matters just as little.

Then there are the truly crazy cases, like the one in Chicago where the nurse had sex with a medicated patient without his consent. It's fair to say that if on college campuses consensual sex must contractual, having sex with your drugged up patient is rape. You can't broker any kind of business if you can't count to 10.

For those confused about how women (and girls) should respect men's boundaries physically, psychologically, emotionally, sexually, and legally, remember: What's good for the goose is good for the gander.





Monday, August 2, 2010

Piece of Advice #61: Do NOT embrace your inner slut

Jaclyn Friedman just posted a piece at feministe.com entitled, "My Sluthood, Myself" revealing in detail how she healed herself from her last bad breakup by having sex with 9 different men she picked up through Craigslist Casual Encounters.  Her argument is that she needed sex and affection, but she kept trying to get it through relationships that she entered into because she so desperately needed sex and affection.  In bypassing any attempt to find meaning or closeness in sex, she was able to get what she wanted and journey to a better mental place where she needed a relationship less and was therefore more able to seek out a more positive one.

The high points:

1) She knew what she was doing was physically dangerous and did it anyway.
I’m telling you this because sluthood is scary. Because we’ve been taught to fear it all our lives, and that training doesn’t just go away because we understand the agenda behind it. And because there are real risks involved. Society likes to punish slutty women. And so do a lot of individual men, some of whom frequent Craigslist Casual Encounters.
But had she been beaten or raped, no doubt she would have blamed the "rape culture."  Because Jaclyn is a firm believer in this rape culture and is never a victim blamer.  Even when there is no victim, such as when positing a hypothetical situation during a CNN interview.  There still might have been a victim because people place themselves in dangerous situations, but they are never at fault, even at a theoretical level.  Because people - women specifically, in her worldview - have to be free to make the stupidest decisions ever and be protected from any bad outcome.  Friedman's motto appears to be: "Creating the feminist utopia of tomorrow with every avoidable rape and assault today."

2) She wants other women to feel as free to be a slut as she does.
It’s a choice we should all have access to because it has the potential to be liberating. Healing. Soul-fulfilling. I’m telling you this because sluthood saved me, in a small but life-altering way, and I want it to be available to you if you ever think it could save you, too. 
3) She wants you to offer emotional/verbal/physical/legal/whatever backup for other self-actualizing sluts:
I’m telling you this because sluthood requires support. Because any woman who indulges these urges carries with her a lifetime of censure and threat. That’s a loud chorus to overcome. A slut needs a posse who finds her exploits almost as delicious as she finds them herself, who cares about her safety and her stories and her happiness but not one whit about her virtue. A slut alone is a slut in difficulty, possibly in danger. 
One can not help wondering, given #2 and #3 above and the overwhelming number of positive comments this piece generated, whether feminists are now operating on the idea that if we are all of us sluts, we are none of us sluts.  If there's nothing in the cupboard to eat but oatmeal, we'll all happily eat oatmeal.  And without sugar or even milk.

There are so many things I disagree with in Jaclyn Friedman's message here, but even if you don't, take this away: if this is what the dating pool now looks like, think of the market value a slim, chaste, not certifiably insane young woman has by her sheer scarcity.   Supply.  Demand.