Friday, November 12, 2010

Piece of Advice #78: Mothers, don't rely on the police to do the job of a father

There have been (at least) two cases in Michigan in the last few weeks involving young girls who died tragically after having had sex with older men.  Most recently Samantha Kelly of Huron Township committed suicide.  Samantha's case is complex; she was 14 years old and apparently had consensual sex with Joseph Tarnopolski, a boy who lived a few houses down from hers.  Tarnopolski was 18 and a senior at the high school Samantha attended.  The two were friendly, Samantha was, according to initial testimony she gave police and texts she sent, anxious to lose her virginity, and they had sex while his parents were out.  Apparently it wasn't that great or things went badly afterward because she told her mother about it, and her mother (featured below) went to the police and had "rape" charges brought against Tarnopolski.  To be more precise the police charged him with Third Degree Criminal Sexual Conduct which broken down is penetrative sex with a minor aged 13, 14, or 15.  It carries a possible sentence of 15 years in prison.

Yes, that's right: 15 years in prison.

About three weeks later on October 18th Samantha and June Justice, her mother, gave an interview to Fox News and the story she told was different.  In the new version Tarnopolski had prevented Samantha from leaving while they were having sex and had pulled her leg when she stood up.  Samantha implied rape this time instead of consensual sex between a minor and a fledgling adult man.  It seems logical that June didn't like what the police were concluding: that her daughter had wanted and initiated sex with this boy and that she was using them in place of Samantha's missing father to punish Tarnopolski.  More drama was needed to firmly convince everyone of the victimization that had occurred.  Unfortunately for Samantha, the Fox News report named Justice, Tarnopolski, and Samantha's high school in the interview.  From there everything went down in the halls of Huron High.  Samantha was bullied, branded a liar, and made to feel unsafe.  She killed herself this week.  Without a witness to the crime or any incriminating evidence, all charges were dropped against Joseph Tarnopolski.



The second case involves another 14 year old girl having consensual sex, this time with a much older man.  Taylor M. of Harrison had a year-long affair (beginning at age 14) with Raymond Bush who was 20 years her senior.  It was apparently serious - Bush had Taylor's name tattooed on his back - until her mother discovered what was going on and involved the police.  Again Third Degree Criminal Sexual Conduct charges were brought, and Taylor was sent to live with her father.  Bush was told to make no contact, but he repeatedly tried to communicate with her on the days leading up to the court hearing in which she was scheduled to testify against him.  The day of the hearing Bush abducted and killed Taylor, then killed himself.

What do these cases have in common?  Young girls from broken families, insufficiently supervised and wanting to be sexually active.  Also mothers who used the police as backup to help contain their daughters' sexual exploration and punish the men who had sex with their daughters.  And long prison sentences forecast for two men.

Frankly, fourteen is too young for girls to be sexually active.  There is too much at stake physically, emotionally, and psychologically.  But it is unbelievably hypocritical to punish men who sleep with 14-year-old girls who initiate consensual sex with long prison sentences when at the same time our government and schools push for birth control and access to abortion for these same girls without the consent or knowledge of their parents.  Let's pick one.  Either these girls are girls still and should not be having sex and should also have consequences for engaging in illegal sexual conduct or they are women who can choose to have sex with whomever they like regardless of the age of their lovers.

And here's a little more brutal honesty: Samantha at least was doomed to be precociously sexual the moment the hospital nurse tagged her baby wrist with her mother's name.  According to news reports, June has four children.  Those children have three different last names.  June was willing to put her daughter's sexual experiences on Fox News to get her revenge and her time in the victim spotlight.  June has obviously made any number of bad choices and, from the looks of it, Samantha was on schedule to follow in her footsteps.  Her death is sad, but her life was undoubtedly going to be sad too.  Taylor's mother didn't know her daughter was having an affair with a 35-year-old man for an entire year.  Obviously she wasn't totally plugged in to all the critical details of her daughter's personal development.

I completely support a mother's desire to delay her daughter's sexual activity well into adulthood and marriage.  I also would be angry to find out she was involved with either of the aforementioned men.  I would actively work to cease contact and step up supervision of my daughter - because she is my investment and concern.  As long as she continues to seek out sex and have the opportunity, she will get it, especially given the number of people out there working to undermine parents' control of their children's sexual exploration.  Does it really matter whether the man she has sex with is 15, 18, or 35?  With any of them she can become pregnant, contract a disease, or grow debauched/jaded.  It's all bad.

Finally, the steep prison sentence for Third Degree Criminal Sexual Conduct has to be considered a factor in the above tragic outcomes.  Would Raymond Bush have abducted and murdered the girl he thought he loved if he hadn't been looking at 15 years in prison?  Would the kids at Huron High School dropped the matter if Joseph Tarnopolski hadn't been about to lose any chance at a good life?  Even if the second version of events Samantha Kelly told was correct, the punishment on the slate for Tarnopolski did not fit the crime.  People who are threatened with the complete ruination of their future often get a little twitchy.  They make impulsive decisions.  Perhaps they let their friends try to even the score.  All actions have consequences.  None of us operate in a vacuum.  The laws for Criminal Sexual Conduct need to be reworked if we as a society plan to continue encouraging young girls to explore their sexuality.  If we don't want girls to be sexual at a young age, we need to stop sexualizing them early and give them consequences too if they participate willingly in illegal sexual conduct.

Addendum 11/15/10:  Read my follow up thoughts here.

38 comments:

  1. Bush was a sicko, but Tarnopolski is clearly being scapegoated. Look at him, he's a beta. If I had to guess, I'd say he probably weeps during chick flicks. He's getting railroaded because the girl realized later she could have lost her virginity to a better person and is now angry at HIM for HER "mistake".

    Women also attach some kind of mystical significance to their virginity.Most of them that I've talked to experience regret about losing it when they did,where they did, under the circumstances they did, and with whom they did. They seem to think some kind of cosmic event will happen if they plan losing their virginity out into metaphysical minutiae and are usually angry that some kind of spiritual renaissance that was never promised, implied, or even hinted at fails to materialize.

    This belief is intrinsically weaved into their very being, it's not taught, so I can never talk women into discussing the precise nature of it or dispel it from their minds with any amount of logic. Female virginity is basically just a medical guarantee that you have not had sex previously, it isn't an interdimensional portal or pathway to a higher plane of existence.


    It's sad, because as long as women believe it is, men like this one will continue to pay the price for women's fanciful delusions.

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    1. Scapegoated? Yes.
      Regreted desicion? No
      Mother behind everything? Yes
      Cries during chickflicks? Yea, theres some good ones out there.

      Delete
  2. On this one I have some diagreement with you. An 18 yr old horney kid doesn't have much life experience, and I think a 15 year sentence is excessive at that stage for a kid that age for concentual sex. At that stage and for that offense, I think being on the sexual offender's list for the rest of his life is also too much. For an adult 20 years older than the 14 yr. old, it's another story. The onus for decent behavior should always be on the adult. 14 yr. old girls often have the sense of a flea.

    The parents are in error. June Justice set her child up to be bullied, but appears to have made numerous bad choices in her lifetime. What a waste.
    Having been the mother of teenagers, though, I wonder how in heaven's name you can possibly know everything your kid is doing or thinking. They can be really good at hiding what they don't want you to know and equally sneaky about their behavior.

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  3. "insufficiently supervised and wanting to be sexually active."

    Don't mean to divert the thread, but the quoted words sound like the average American college and are key to an argument I made to Susan Walsh earlier this week wrt to the Duke frat emails. I stated that Susan had it partially wrong - as much as she says young women really want relationships and put up with the hookup culture to draw out boyfriends, a large segment of women, particularly early in college, WANT to be pursued and deflowered by a devil-may-care party boy. They WANT that social force, leadership and sexual power to take them over, if only for a night. Kind of like the first time you dance you want a strong leader until you figure out how to navigate it yourself.

    So the point was that those crude, insulting emails are exactly what those girls are looking for...they want to be in a morally-neutral, alcohol-soaked boorish environments for that experimentation. The frats are advertising the truth.

    They won't be Friedman-esque confirmed carousel riders, but they will buy a ticket to lose their virginity, get back at the overstructured life she's been living so far, or whatever other motivation crosses her mind.

    For many middle-upper class women (the type likely to wind up in a Duke sorority and be the invitees for these parties), college is their first real unsupervised opportunity to go crazy. As society continues to emasculate and disengage fathers from their traditional protector-leader role in families, the license for young men and women to give into their base curiosities rises. It's even encouraged by sex-pozzies in the counseling departments. And as the endless adolescence draws out later in life, the damage young people can do to themselves goes up since society gives them ral jobs, credit cards, mortgages and other instruments of responsibility.

    I tie this back to this case in that until/unless parents and society cop to the truth of female sexuality, especially that in the absence of positive male leadership throughout her life (i.e. fathers), they'll never really understand what's going on with cases like a 14-year old freshman getting together with a senior. A recent MTV special on sexting was pure misandry, portraying sexting women as victims of social pressure from their boyfriends. To a fledging student of game, their conclusions made no sense, steeped as they were in the pretty lie that girls are sexual victims, that their sexual activities are simply mirrors of the pressures of horny teenage men.

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  4. I agree that 14-year-old girls often do not seem to have any sense, but I'm beginning to doubt if there is an age threshold for sense. The local news also lately highlighted the story of a man who had fathered 23 children by 13 different women. I do not believe rape or statutory rape was an issue. They were all just certifiably stupid adult women.

    The issue here is whether 14-year-old girls are children - whom we do not allow to have sex because they are too immature to handle any of the consequences of sex - or women - whom our society says should be allowed to "explore their sexuality" without barrier. If they are the latter, statutory rape laws don't make a lot of sense because the girls themselves are choosing to be sexual, behavior which our society promotes through every venue - media, sex ed, peer pressure. They are only following the examples shown them. But if they are the former than we should throw everything we have at this problem to stop children from having sex because the idea is utterly repellent. A fourteen year old having sex with a fourteen year old should be as repellent a concept. Children should not have sex.

    I don't like, condone, or approve of what Bush did, but I think the reason we are saying it's sick is that we assume the age difference gives him some kind of control over her, control he would presumably not have if she were a few years older. But that's a side issue. If she's capable of making the decision to have sex, maybe she wants a lover who will control her; maybe that would not change with time. Maybe she likes the power he has or the dominance he shows.

    We used to think that young women needed to be protected from the sexual advances of men. I had a relative who decades ago as a teen had a sexual relationship with a man who was twenty years older than she was. Her father and other men ran him out of town. But that was when the social narrative stated that sex outside of marriage was wrong and that men had authority over women. Both of those ideas were overturned by feminism.

    What we are left with is the idea that girls who have reached sexual maturity but not formal adulthood should be protected from men who want to have sex with them unless they the girls actually want sex and the "men" involved are too young to assert any kind of control over the girls. Or unless it's all kept hush hush which is, of course, up to the girls' discretion.

    None of that makes any kind of sense. It also sets an effective trap for a male of any age -except extreme youth - who takes the bait.

    Child or adult: that's the call we need to make.

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  5. This is pretty cold. Samantha was not a piece of trash. She was a 14 year old girl and now she is dead. I think you might have a different take on this if you had a little girl.

    Any "man" be he a alpha, beta, gamma or zeta, whether he has "game," or not, who has sex with a child is asking for all the trouble he gets.

    Elinor

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  6. Elinor - I agree. Samantha was not a piece of trash; she was a person. I can look at the situation more objectively because I never knew Samantha and now never will. Her mother is a train wreck. It is possible that Samantha might have overcome genetics and upbringing to become a person of integrity. We will never know.

    I assume from your second statement that you agree with me that 14-year-olds are children and should not be having sex period.

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  7. Sure. And I assume that you agree with me that 35 year old men trolling for sex with little girls should be prosecuted. If they don't kill themselves and their victims, of course.

    Elinor

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  8. As correctly predicted by a commenter on The Spearhead, Jezebel had a field day with this story:

    http://jezebel.com/5686407/teen-rape-victim-commits-suicide-after-bullying

    The comments are a sight to behold: fantasizing about severing the guy's genitals etc. Great insight into the feminist mind. Compare this to the MRA sites where pretty much nobody fantasizes doing violence against women.

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  9. A few things:

    - It isn’t enough to be physically mature if there is not comparable mental maturity. That’s one of the many reasons why there are laws that address the mental capacity of the plaintiff and defendant.

    - A person isn’t going to necessarily be sentenced to the full amount possible for a crime.

    - Mothers and Fathers (regardless of marital status) go to the authorities to address crimes against their children. They are supposed to do that and not take the law into their own hands.

    - There are two families who suffered a loss. Using these situations as a way to continue the attacks on someone’s marital status, feminism, etc., shows a serious lack of conscience and judgment.

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  10. Perhaps I should clarify or rewrite; I'm not sure.

    My point in writing this post was not that we should encourage relationships between 35-year-old men and 14-year-old girls or that there should be no repercussions for adults getting involved with very young people. Nor was it that the deaths of these two girls were of no consequence.

    My point is that a clunky legal system which de facto assigns prison time that is practically guaranteed to make criminals more dangerous rather than less is absolutely NO SUBSTITUTE for invested men in the lives of women.

    Yes, of course mothers and fathers go to the police when a crime involving their children has been committed. But in the case of Tarnopolski, it would have been a lot better if the parents of the kids had gotten together and agreed that this behavior was inappropriate and had to stop. Of course, my take on the matter - based on her testimony and the evidence the police said they did not have - was that for Samantha Kelly this was regretted sex and not rape.

    It drives me nuts that the media is making a martyr of June Justice who: 1) set out to ruin Tarnopolski's entire life because he had had sex with her daughter and 2) set up her daughter for bullying by broadcasting what had happened on Fox News.

    You don't get to be a martyr when you do that. The other mother didn't catch what was going on for a year. I don't think parents can entirely control what their teenagers are doing and who they are doing with, but a year? A year.

    Society is falling apart because women are choosing to give their children lives like the ones these women made for Taylor and Samantha with their bad choices. Taylor and Samantha deserved better. The police are not going to be able to contain the chaos that a society that invested men with authority and put boundaries on female sexuality once did.

    When I was a kid the nighttime news was not filled with man/woman murder/suicide stories like it is increasingly today. It's only going to get worse.

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    1. You.. you pay attention well. Your not that far off..

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  11. In 1861, in the United States, 14 year old females were prime marriage material and 20 year olds were old maids. Girls were raised to by wives, mothers, and household managers. No one thought it odd that a man in his late forties would ask a father for the hand of his teenage daughter. Read Gone with the Wind.
    Cheers

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  12. You say society is falling apart because women are choosing to give their children lives like the ones these women did. It's not that simplistic. Where were the fathers of these young women anyway? I'm sure they are without fault and were heartlessly kept away from their daughters by their ball-breaking mothers, right? Anyway, a two parent family does not guarantee happy, morally upright, healthy children. Both the Columbine murderers (boys, by the way) had 2 parents and an upper middle class lifestyle.

    You have no real-life experience with teenagers. You are still at that stage where your child thinks you know everything and that the sun rises and sets with you. Come back here when he is an uncommunicative teenager and see if you have changed your opinion about how involved parents can be in their childrens' lives. I am lucky that my teen is so enthralled with sailing and is not driving yet so I can keep pretty accurate tabs on him. But my friends are not so lucky. Teens are striving for independence and will try to achieve that by any means. Secrecy and privacy being the primary means. You too will discover this in a very short few years.

    Yes, I think some of the rape laws are harsh when applied to consenting teens. Maybe you should work to have those changed. But I repeat, any "man" in his 20s or 30s having sex with a teen should be stopped and prosecuted. And the girl should not be blamed.

    If you were sincere about rewriting this piece, why not focus on those women teachers sexting teenage boys. Most people shrug that off, but I find it just as abusive as if a man did it.

    Elinor

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  13. I've worked with a lot of women over the years that were solo parenting and had teenage daughters.

    They all became grandmothers.

    I don't mean "some of them", I mean ALL of them.

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  14. If I had a toddler who liked to play with fire because it was pretty and gave him matches or a lighter to play with the law would be all over me. Why? Because I am the adult. He doesn't know the repercussions. I do.
    A young teen may want sex. She may be enticing.She may encourage it. She is stupid. She hasn't a clue what she is setting up for herself. Her parent may not be able to stop her behavior, but an adult male who buys into it is also stupid. If he takes her up on it, he still bears the blame because he is the ADULT. If he initiates it no matter how he tries to justify his love, he is a PREDATOR. I don't care if you are a man or a woman, you don't mess with children. Our legal system may be clunky, but it is the one we've got.
    As to the example of 1861,it was a different time. The option for women was service or marriage. You don't compare apples and oranges. Also, the war left this huge gap of men. The number of marriageable men was much smaller.

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  15. Grerp:
    - Unless you personally know all the parents involved, you can’t state with any level of credibility that the Kelly/Tarnopolski situation would have worked out better if all the parents had talked.

    - As for the legal system, it’s much more complex than you’re trying to paint it. There are various levels of U.S. law; local, state and federal. Under numerous circumstances, prosecutors and judges do have discretion regarding sentencing matters.

    In general:
    - All charges in connection with Samantha have been dropped against Joseph. If this source is correct, Joseph Tarnopolski is being investigated for another matter. http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/25703678/detail.html

    - Classism, sexism, racism and a host of other negative behavior are responsible for the issues we're seeing. It goes much further than a “war between the sexes.” I highly recommend that people try digging a little deeper. A lot of the issues have been present for a long time; there just wasn’t the same speed of communication to highlight them for wider portions of society to know.

    - There are married parents whose children have kids out of wedlock, commit crimes, etc. The stereotypes against single mothers are creating serious blind-spots for us as a society. Common causes for negative behavior are more difficult to see when we only focus on segments of a population because of biases. Furthermore, some of the issues that are said to show up in single-parent homes are also said to plague low-income families and/or minority households. It’s quite interesting that when issues like these come up, people’s privileges and biases really start to show.

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  16. For every thousand hacking at the leaves of evil there is one striking at the root.

    I think most readers of this blog post are totally with Elinor that older males having sex with a 14 year old girl should be prosecuted.

    But it isn't a one or the other kind of situation. Yes predators should be prosecuted AND it is obvious that children raised by single mothers are at a crippling disadvantage compared to children raised in traditional two parent households AND using the police as a substitute for a father figure is a really stupid idea.

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  17. @Athol Kay,
    I guess that would make all those daughter's fathers, grandfathers. ALL of them.

    Elinor

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  18. "I guess that would make all those daughter's fathers, grandfathers. ALL of them."

    Did you actually read his post? He said SOLO parenting. There were no fathers.

    Elinor has reached the threshold of trolling.

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  19. @Anonymous 12:21 (Elinor)

    Comments like yours hurt the very beta males you expect to enforce the laws that protect you. It illustrates the almost completely one-sided, unbalanced point of view of feminists. -- See grerp's post about female 'reproductive rights' completely trampling on male reproductive rights.

    If you want to claim that fatherhood is a biological reality, and not a social construct then you pretty much have to be in favor of mandatory paternity testing, financial abortion for men within the same time frame and limits as legal abortion for women. Welcome to the brave new world.

    You want the beta males of society (read: police force) to enforce and protect right? You like living in a society with the rule of law in force and applied for everyone right? Is it really that much to expect some sort of parity in enforcing those laws regardless of gender?

    Say something. Anything. Anything to indicate that you have some sort of grasp in regards to gender parity, and maybe your words will have some weight.

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  20. Yes, Badger Nation, I read the post. But surely those daughters were not hatched from an egg. Where are those wonderful, morals-imposing, protective fathers? Name-calling=desperation.

    Anonymous 3:05 - I have no idea what point you're trying to make, but that's ok, please don't try to explain it to me again.


    Elinor

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  21. So Elinor, are you saying that a 14 year old girl who finds herself with an older man is never accountable for her actions that placed herself in danger? The girl who entices guys into having sex never has any responsibility at her end, that 100% of the responsibility for the situation is always on the man?

    Not saying men are not responsible, but am saying it is often not all on men. It's on many of these girls too and it is on the support, or lack of it in her (often broken) family.
    No wonder we have so many teen mothers...

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  22. Teens having sex with other teens should not be a legal offense; Tarnopolski should never have been charged.

    Anony@4:28pm: I know some "manospherians" are in favor of lowering age of consent laws to 14. Just can't agree with that, sorry! The line has to be drawn somewhere; move age of consent to 14, there are those who will want it lower still. Bet on it.

    Girls are maturing physically at an earlier age but the mental/emotional side of them just doesn't usually match up. The onus for responsible behavior ultimately rests on the adult, regardless of gender, regardless of the minor's supposed sexual confidence. Someone has to say no, and I don't think we should place that responsibility on a young teenager.

    Men should be dating women, not GIRLS.
    Women should date men, not BOYS.

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  23. The child/adult dichotomy reminds me of a dave chappelle bit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjsufO9hZwo

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  24. Elinor - I'll try to explain it again anyway.

    Feminists want it both ways. They want to throw out the men the instant it suits their fancy. And they want the surplus labor of the males just because.

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  25. Was going to respond to Elinor but again, she's a troll - facts will not get in the way of her "argument."

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  26. Hmmm, Badger Nation, you seem to be having a bad day there. I fail to see how anything I've said qualifies me as a troll. Is it because I don't think 35 year old men should get away with having sex with 14 yr. olds? Or because I think absent fathers have as much to do with these problems as solo moms? Or because my opinions disagree with yours? Oh, I forgot, you can't respond to me cuz I'm a troll. Feel better soon, hun.

    Elinor

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  27. I've read your entire blog, but this is the first time I'm commenting.

    I'm a woman, but I was beginning to think that I hated my own gender. Then I found your blog and realize that there are women who also think like I do. Thanks for being a breath of fresh air in this world!

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  28. The issue here isn't 35 year old men having sex with 14 year olds, it's Tarnopolski's case where a HS senior has sex with a HS freshman. Would you also be in favor of ruining the life of a 17 year old having sex with a 15 year old? It's absurd, especially when as our host points out sex education classes implicitly endorse sexual activity for that age group. HS sex ed classes should devote a couple of months to our crazy statutory rape laws.

    MQ

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  29. Woman believe older men who have relations with younger girls should be prosecuted because they are unable to attract older men.

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  30. Anonymous 12:57 - thank you so much for your comment. It was a real pick-me-up.

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  31. The person truly responsible for the girl's death is her own damn mother. If she's not blown this whole thing out of proportion and raised her kid better perhaps this wouldn't have happened.

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  32. Perhaps I can offer a perspective:

    I was that little girl, 14 years old, no father, (and my mom was no ball-buster either, my parents did the socially conservative thing, but then my father decided to marry his girlfriend. What can you do?) and I'd recently discovered my sexual power. Even if my mom had tried harder (and she did try) she couldn't have stopped me. The thing is, when you have all this power over men and no male role model, you don't really find out what it all means until much much later. You have no idea what love looks like and although you are not still actively hurt from your father's leaving, it's easy to get the sense that you have very little value as a person, let alone as a woman.

    I hated the idea of placing a value on my virginity. It seems sick and backwards that a part of my body belongs to a mysterious stranger who might get the idea to marry me and claim what is his. I considered my virginity my own, to do with what I will. In the end, curiosity got the best of me, though at 14 it's easy to be in "love" if it's convenient. Not that my lover wasn't kind, we stayed together for a long time. Sadly, I enjoyed hurting him, leaving him like my father left me. That was the dark side of sexual power and I regret what I did to him.

    My mom wasn't stupid, on some level, she knew what was going on. If she had gone to the police and the press with statutory rape charges, when I was so unsure of my ability to receive love in the first place, and humiliated me like that, I probably would have had the same fate as Samantha Justice. Fatherless girls are broken early so it doesn't take much.

    I don't regret losing my virginity, I still consider that mine, not his. I do regret being so jaded so young. At 26, I'm irrevocably bitter about men and will probably never have children, as I will never trust a man enough to stay and raise his own children. Why should he? So many get away with abandoning their children.

    It's too late for me. But it pains me to see women choosing to raise children without fathers and then wondering why their teenage daughters have daddy complexes.

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  33. Thanks for sharing your experience, SnappyEel - this is the reason for why I passionately promote paternal investment. It's so important to girls and boys to have their fathers involved in their lives. I'm sorry your experience was so difficult and painful; it's obvious that divorce and abandonment have a terrible cascading effect through generations, and that is tragic.

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  34. Way more to the story behind the scenes than any of you will ever know. Sam and I liked eachother alot. Her mother didnt agree with it so much. Being in highschool you never really think about the age. You see a classmate in the same math class as you that you like and boom... just like everyother relationship. Sams mom pushed her to do the things she did, she never wanted to do it. How do i know? Well i have the note from her still to this day. Beta, Alpha. It doesnt matter. I stayed quiet because it wasnt the worlds business to know nor was i looking for attention. Not a day goes by that I dont think about Sam and im sure it will be like that the rest of my life. What the news didnt mention was the fact we were friends. We hungout, we talked, hell we even studied our math work together. We were supposed to go to prom that following week. But her mom found out a bit early and sadly never had the chance. This should have never blown up as big as it did. And its because it did that things ended up the way they did. Ill love sam forever, call it rape, call it molestation, your ignorant. 4 years isnt such a big age gap when you get older now is it? But again, Sam and I are innocent. We liked eachother thats no ones business but ours. Her mom made all thar bullying stuff up as a way to gain your sympathy. News doesnt tell you the full story, just what will hold your interest. Bottom line is her mom had it out for me and she tried countless times to sue me for everything ive got/ shall ever have. Rape victims stay quiet, they dont blow it up on national news.. The stress it put on us was to much. Sam couldnt take it, that devestated me even more. I starved myself for months because i couldnt eat wihout throwing up, couldnt sleep, couldnt go out in public. Walk in my front yard news vans 24-7. Death threats, people rediculing everychance they got. Id like to say its stopped....but id be lying. Though it has chilled out a bit. Sadly it will haunt me the rest of my life.. i havent really much else to say at this point..

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  36. Thats pretty much the jist in a nutshell, like i said there's alot of behind the scene footage and stuff happening behind the curtains than any of you could ever know. Anyway if any of yoy have questions id be happy to answer the best i can. Though im sure ill have my fair share of haters posting here as well..

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